"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot). Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004
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"I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically." — Steven Wright, Comedian
Snapple Facts
#209 The largest pumpkin ever grown weighed 1,061 lbs.
Yo Mama ...
so ugly she just got a job at the airport sniffing for drugs.
One Liners
Q: What's the definition of macho? A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
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That Is Not A Name 11.21.2009 That's a vengeance. I bet his parents are still laughing ...
Man Caught Trying To Have Sex With Bicycle 11.19.2007 They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white T-shirt, naked from the waist down. The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."
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2009 Deadpool 01.22.2009 Don't miss out ... If you are a Goofballer, it's free. If you are not ... become a Goofballer!
