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Assorted Goofiness
College Humor
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George W. Bush |
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"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons." Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002
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Random Quote |
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"In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every sooften I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a callfrom a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out.""
— Steven Wright, Comedian
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Snapple Facts |
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#199 The largest cheesecake ever-made weighed 57,508 lbs.
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Yo Mama ... |
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so ugly it looks like she sleeps on a bed of nails face down!
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One Liners |
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Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties?
A: To find a tight seal.
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 Senior Citizens Given Book on Parenting Before Wedding | | By: Dirk Steele | Published: 11/28/1999 | | |  |
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Delray Beach, Florida (AP) - Ninety-year-old Max Gordon and
his 82-year-old bride-to-be Mollie Levy got a bit of a shock
when they asked for a marriage license. A clerk handed them a
book.
"So I said, `What's the book about?"' Mollie recalled. "And
she said, `Parenting,"'
"Parenting?" Mollie said. "We don't need to read the book,
we can write it."
Between them, Gordon and Levy have six children, 14
grandchildren and 17 great-grandchildren.
Still, under Florida law, their union was just another
marriage that needed safeguarding by the Marriage Preparation
and Preservation Act of 1998, a statute aimed at protecting
children from the effects of failed marriages.
So, the lovebirds recently sat down with the Family Law
Handbook. Mollie had to read to Max because of his cataracts.
"The only reason I read it was because I thought we might
get tested on it," she said.
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ARTICLE FORUM LIST |
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Old people suck
(1 reply)
started by
Anonymous Goofball
(11.28.2000 2:57:14 AM EST)
Well, they drive slow, get in your way, are usually rotton and crotchy, and have the majority of stock in Viagra.....
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Casino Joke |
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I know this crazy guy who just won't play at a casino. He just pretends to play in his head. Last week he lost his mind!
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Goofball Facts |
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Non-dairy creamer is flammable.
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